She's home

Well, she made it through the whole week but only by the skin of her teeth. I got a phone call from the foster mom at 10:45 last night demanding that I come get her right that second. Mind you, it's a 3 1/2 hour drive. I had already finished one glass of wine. I was in my jammies. Did I mention that it was 10:45? Fortunately I was able to talk everyone down and avoid the middle of the night retrieval. I also realized that this foster mom has no idea how to calm S when she starts to escalate. This is a woman who had her in her home as a pre-adoptive placement but gave up after three months. Now I see why. Last night, every time I would start to get S a little calm FM would run over and yank the phone out of her hand and scream, "It's my turn to talk to her! You're not controlling me any more!" Seriously crazy. Then while I was talking FM off the ledge S would start screaming again and I'd hear foster dad in the background screaming, "You're never welcome here again! Don't call us, don't email us, don't send us letters..." I mean, seriously. These are experienced therapeutic foster parents. Scary.

Anyway, S agreed to stop screaming and go to her room if she could bring the phone with her and talk to me until she fell asleep. She kept insisting she was "homesick" and she missed me and loves me so much. On one hand I know she was trying to manipulate me into making a 7-hour round-trip in the middle of the night to get her. On the other hand, it's nice to hear she was missing home. And on her gratitude list tonight she wrote "I felt glad when I got home!!!" And she's been an angel since we got here. Of course we've only been home for four hours but I've enjoyed every one of them.

Meanwhile it looks like next Friday will be my big meeting with the school. S decided on the way home that she'd like to write a personal letter to the director of special ed telling her that she wants to be a good student and go to college someday and she just doesn't feel safe or happy where she is. She said she feels like an emotional support school would be really great for her. And seriously, that is huge. She has always been steadfastly committed to being "normal." For her to recognize that she needs help is making me so proud.

It's a good night. Of course tomorrow is always another day.